Why I Can't Quit You, Slamdance

1999 Grand Jury Award winner, programmer, filmmaker, and SlamdanceTV creator Heidi Van Lier guest blogs on why she can't quit Slamdance:

“WHY I CAN’T QUIT YOU, SLAMDANCE”
by Heidi Van Lier

People all over the planet email me and ask me about Slamdance. How to get in, how to volunteer, and mostly, how crazy is Park City during those two weeks? I could not have the career (albeit minimal) I’ve had without Slamdance, and I wouldn’t have 90% of my friends either. Over the years Slamdance has become more than just a bunch of frightened filmmakers and crazed staff trying to get jobs, sell stuff, and throw a good party. Slamdance has become my very own brand new lovable dysfunctional family.

I have been involved with Slamdance in some capacity every year for the last 10 years. Yes. TEN YEARS. Every year I’ve said it would be my last, thinking I’d just be so very busy the following year that I wouldn’t have the time, or the energy, to be involved. Somehow, I still find myself signing out films to view every September. It has become less of a habit at this point and more like a lifestyle. And I wouldn’t even know where to go to quit a lifestyle. There isn’t a support group, or a self-help book, or a chat room. There isn’t a 12-step program or weaning-off solution, or even some kind of replacement therapy. I’m just a Slamdance girl at this point, and always will be.

A Brief History of My Life with Slamdance…

If I were to tell my Slamdance story, it would have to be told by the people who made up the family each year, starting with Peter Baxter. I met Peter at a DGA screening in LA in February of 1998. He asked me to submit my film and I wasn’t about to say no to someone ASKING for my film. Scott Storm programmed that year and came over to tell me I’d gotten in. Skizz Cyzyk was on the jury, along with Sam Grogg, and I thanked Drea Clark for her help with my screenings during my acceptance speech. I went back to my condo where Joe and I just sat on the sofa and pondered what it all meant. The next morning I had 45 calls on my cell phone (1999 flip phone) and they were all congratulations from producers, press people, and agents.

The next year I was a programmer under the hysterical reign of Dan Mirvish. Brent Clackson was running the show then. Kristy Byrd took over the year after that, followed by Nubia Flores, and finally, Drea Clark, the same girl from the screenings that I’d thanked in my winning speech. I served on the Slamdance jury with Debra Eisenstadt and Gabe Wardell (who now runs the Atlanta Film Festival), and Skizz Cyzyk, who runs the Maryland Film Festival and still projects for Slamdance every year. Kent Osborne and I went head-to-head the next couple years during programming, and wound up friends and working on a film together. And finally two years ago I went back to make Slamdance TV, a job I’d been asked to do years earlier, before Final Cut Pro was even commonly used. I spend each festival with Carly Flynn and Howie Goldklang and Joy Saez, mostly laughing and interviewing new filmmakers. And this year I had an actual assistant named Marta Palley, who saved my life and my mind, and we hung out with The Merch Girls, Laura and Kelly, while digitizing. Joy, Peter, and Alex Schwab are holding down the fort in the off-season.

But let’s be real, it’s not all just a good time. Here’s a list of reasons why I both love you and wish I could leave you at the exact same time, Slamdance:

1. You have given me both the Grand Jury Prize for a film and then on my next film a big fat rejection letter. (Okay, the year after that you accepted it, fine.)
2. You make me program, fight with my friends over films, and then repay me by not accepting all the films I wish I could every year.
3. My husband made me promise in therapy once that I would NEVER program again. He gave that up when you finally accepted my second film. (Ok, I kinda told him you made me.)
4. You introduce me to amazing filmmakers year after year, who then go on to have much better careers than I’ll ever have.
5. You repeatedly ask me to do you “favors” and I forget to say no.
6. You both sell my book and put me on panels, making me feel all important and stuff, and then ask me to unload a truck as soon as I get off the plane.
7. You make me stand outside in the freezing cold to get into parties, but I get to buy new coats every year that I would never have anywhere to wear otherwise.
8. You give me the greatest stories to tell filmmakers about embarrassing things festies from prior years have done, and then I get to watch new filmmakers do them all over again (And still go on to have better careers than I’ll ever have).
9. You make me hike up a huge hill 3 or 4 times a day, but I lose at least 10 pounds every festival.
10. You make me miss my family terribly, but put them in films so I can bring them with me the following year.

I heart you Slamdance, and yep, I’ll be back again this year. And next year. And probably the year after that too.

Heidi Van Lier is an indie filmmaker living in Los Angeles. She has made three feature films: “Chi Girl” which won the Grand Jury Prize at the Slamdance Film Festival, “Monday”, which screened as a special screening at the Slamdance Film Festival, and “American Decaf”, which will make the festival rounds in 2009. Heidi now programs for the Slamdance Film Festival, produces and directs Slamdance TV during the festival, and continues to counsel 10-15 filmmakers about festival strategy every year. Her new book The Indie Film Rule Book is available at lulu.com and is a strategic guide for indie filmmakers. Go buy one now!

Heidi also has a weekly blog on www.filmindependent.org.